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She Caught the Bouquet

Tonight Nicole caught the bouquet at one of her best friends weddings. Good thing she has been reading Bride Magazine. She has a head start on some things.

The wedding was earlier today in Michigan and she sent me pictures of the bride.

I cried at how beautiful she was. Nicole asked, If you are crying now, looking at her friend Sam, what was I going go do when she gets married? ( probably next year)

I changed the subject.

Actually, I look forward to that day with as much excitement as she does. I'm sure it's a different kind of excitement, but I am going to enjoy every moment of the preparation with her. She's been dating a wonderful guy for a while, and they have a great future together.

As parents, we are enjoying every momentous occasion, every milestone in her young adult life, and we plan to celebrate every minute of this adventure called love. -- her adventure.

Today she caught the bouquet ... During this next year, we will look at hundreds of pictures of other bouquets.

One of them will be hers to toss.

Uh oh, I think I'm crying again.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

IT IS A BIG DEAL!

Our daughter graduated from college this past weekend. We will continue to celebrate her excellent four-year tour at Oral Roberts University. She finished with Honors, Summa Cum Laude from the best elementary education program in the country. As you know, from following tweets or Facebook, we are very proud and so pleased for her. She worked hard. Very hard.

Nicole has exemplified these verses in Proverbs (23:22-25): “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old “ (I’m sure she won’t when I am). "Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment. The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy!”

Every part of this graduation has been full of joy . . . probably more for her than anyone! But I can say that in this transition in her life, we have no regrets, no tears, no looking back. She is completing everything the Lord has for her . . . right on time, step after step. It is fun to watch, actually.

In some ways, we are amazed at how quickly these four years have come and zipped by. But so thankful for the depth of the experiences.

Parents, encourage your kids to keep moving toward the goal . . . to keep on learning, pushing, dreaming. This generation sees and knows things we have not been programmed to see the same way. They have answers for their generation (and some for ours too).

We are raising some smart, intuitive, discerning kids. They have been empowered to change some things. You are doing a good job if they think they can.

And they really can.

Congratulations to our son who is now a College Sophomore – and again to Nicole. She’s a great elementary school teacher – and we are all looking forward to meeting her first students!

Israel - Truly a trip of a lifetime

I have been in Israel almost a week now and have not written a blog for several reasons. The first being that the pace of this tour has kept us hopping from early morning to the night. We see so many things in one day, it feels like days have passed from breakfast to dinner. The second reason, and really the biggest is that I have not really been able to put into words what I am seeing and experiencing. I think I must have my mouth hanging open in awe most of the time.

I am thrilled. Humbled. Amazed. Thankful. Smarter. Thinking.

God loves Israel. I do too.

Details will come. Stay tuned

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

"Aren't you thankful for makeup?"

One morning, a day like any other, I was getting ready for work, staring intently in the mirror while I put on eye shadow, mascara, blush . . . you know those essential beauty aids we ladies have come to rely on.

My then 4-year-old came into the bathroom where I was so diligently working. He stood at the bathroom counter watching for a few minutes.

“Mom. Aren’t you thankful for makeup?”

There are some things that require no reply. But at that moment I remember thinking, “Perhaps not as thankful as you seem to be - (you sweet little stinker)."

“People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7

When David was chosen to be king, as the youngest brother, he may not have looked the part in the eyes of those watching this process, but the Lord was looking for something beneath the exterior. Duly noted. That’s important to remember.

And yet. We also know that our lives, our outward appearance, countenance may be the only Gospel some people will ever “read.” Or may be the first chapter in the book of Jesus for them.

Bottom line. Yes. I am thankful for makeup. It helps me. I imagine others I meet are too, they just may not know how much.

Present the best of yourself – whenever you can.

It really may matter – to you and to them.

I love being a Girl!

Spa Day.

Need I say more? A slice of heaven.

Today my daughter and I spent a few hours together celebrating her birthday at this wonderful spa near our house. It’s the ultimate in luxury and the best gift to give another woman, in my opinion. It’s a celebration of lady-ness.

It’s a reminder me that taking time out just for me is important. Needful.

You need to invest in those activities that help get you back to true north. Center. Grounded. Peaceful.

Gardening. Painting your nails. A cup of tea and a magazine. A walk and an iPod. A bath – with bubbles.

No pressure.

Find a girl friend – it’s the best girl friend thing to do. Facials and pedicures --- aaahhhh.

It’s good to be a girl. Take advantage of it . . . when you can. Every once in a while.

I’m pretty sure you deserve it.

He went west, She went east

I’ve been reading Carl Sandburg for the past few days. I don’t read or study many poets, but he is definitely one of my favorites.

This poem – short as it is – has made me think and ponder much since I read it.

One Parting by Carl Sandburg

Why did he write to her,
“I can’t live without you”?
And why did she write to him,
“I can’t live without you’?
For he went west, she went east
And they both lived.

Whether with someone, or without someone, I hope you are living. Really living. You can, you know.

Can You Spot an Artist?

They are everywhere. You probably have them growing up in your home right now.

I made and packed my kids’ school lunches almost every day – kindergarten through senior year in high school. (Yes, I know they were old enough to make and pack their own lunches when they turned 10 probably, but it was one more way I could “touch” them with an act of service – my love language – every day).

Anyway, I would wrap their sandwiches, or cold pizza in tinfoil on many days.

The picture of the tinfoil rose shown above was one of dozens of tinfoil creations that came home in my son’s lunchbox – when he was in elementary school. I still have this rose, sitting on my desk in my office. I suppose it's 10 or 11 years old now.

We were raising a creative – an artist. It was obvious – every day. He was a creator in every sense of the word. As a child, he made wallets out of playing cards; duck tape purses and shoes; water color paintings; oil paintings; short films with his friends, and so on and so on.

He has the soul of an artist.

My prayer is that he never yields to the resistance to stop creating.

“Art is what we call...

the thing an artist does.

It's not the medium or the oil or the price or whether it hangs on a wall or you eat it. What matters, what makes it art, is that the person who made it overcame the resistance, ignored the voice of doubt and made something worth making. Something risky. Something human.

Art is not in the eye of the beholder. It's in the soul of the artist.”

(From Seth Godin’s blog, 2/18/11, http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/)

No Way to Win? Really, Ladies?

Ladies and Gentlemen … be warned -- If this is not funny to you, you may need to talk out a some things. Oh. And stop being so touchy!



(The above video was created by my friend Pastor John Voelz from Jackson, Michigan - www.johnvoelz.com)

We’ve all had those conversations that only get worse the longer they go. You know what it’s like when you just keep talking and digging a hole that seems to get deeper and deeper. You want to stop and explain, and that only makes it worse. And yet, not explaining seems irresponsible?

Sometimes, it's best to just stop talking. Call a truce. Call it being human. Call it done. Someone, just Call It!

And as crazy as this video seems -- ladies, we have all been there in some form or fashion. So, it's really up to us most of the time to stop the madness! It's okay. We're human - and nobody knows it better than the men closest to us!

And I for one, am glad they do!

(Thanks John for a great video - hope you get many views!)

When talking to teenagers, you can’t shut up too much!

Many years ago, I received the best advice about raising a son from a mother whom I respect very much. Here’s what she told me:

“When your son starts to talk and communicate with words, listen to him and show interest in everything he talks about. This won’t always be easy because when boys (and really all children) are young, they want to talk about many things you won’t care about. But if you stay in the habit of listening to the things that are important to him, his interests will change as he gets older. By then, you will have developed a good habit with him and he’ll be comfortable to talk to you about anything.”

Great advice! Your son is never too old (or too young) for you to show an interest in the things important to him.

Granted, this was not always easy. My son (at 4 or 5 years old) could tell me play by play action of the most recent Sponge Bob Square Pants episodes. But I listened.

Today, he doesn’t talk about cartoons or TV shows so much . . . but at 19 has much bigger and more important things to discuss, and we have developed a good relationship. Today we really talk and listen to each other.

Here is some additional wisdom from Mark Gregston. I encourage you to visit his website at www.parentingtodaysteens.org.

Teenage boys will clam up if a parent expects them to look them in the eye when they talk. Instead, sit side by side, like in the car. And I find that all teens tend to talk more while they are involved in an activity, so you’ll be most successful if you can find something fun to do together.

Talking less may be difficult for parents, but when it comes to getting teenagers to open up to you, you can’t shut up too much. Don’t expect a long discussion; it may just be the “instant message” version, so listen carefully and repeat back what you think they said. Finally, be sure to ask questions to keep the conversation going.

Remember, ask questions. Then listen. You can’t shut up too much.

Looking toward the Big Picture

Do you like to do jigsaw puzzles?

My daughter began doing little jigsaw puzzles when she was 2 years old. She loved them. She did them fast. Fortunately, they were inexpensive so we had quite a few. But I needed to make them a little more challenging for her when she was 3 or 4 yearsold, so I would take 5 or 4 of her puzzles and mix them together. She would then separate the pictures and do them that way.

By the time she was in elementary school, 500 piece puzzles were no problem. They just took a little longer.

These days, in only 2 hours, she does 1000 piece puzzles like this:



Seriously, she completed this puzzle in less than 3 hours. She’s amazing. Her puzzle technique is unusual and fun to watch too.

She is about to graduate from college in a few months with her degree in elementary eduation. As she completes that piece of her journey, we are excited to watch her step into this final semester where she will be student teaching some first graders in a school about 20 minutes from the house. Those little ones are in for a treat as “Miss Allen” comes into their lives. She’s a teacher – a passionate, driven teacher. Her heart’s desire can be summed up in the words of a 4th grader on the last day of her time in his classroom this past fall: “Miss Allen, You were a great teacher. You helped me understand everything.”

As parents, we are so proud of her. She is a beautiful, talented, intelligent, brilliant young lady. Her future is full of impartation and investment into others. She can’t wait to get at this calling on her life full time.

While she enters this next chapter in her story, it has also challenged me to examine whether I am taking time with others to help them ‘understand everything.’ Where am I imparting, teaching, encouraging and investing in others?

Where are you?

You and I have what it takes to fill in some of the pieces for those around us. A kind word, wisdom imparted, or a prayer prayed will help someone see a bigger picture.

Should I Stay? Or Should I Go?

If you are like me, the anticipation of a thing can seem better than the thing itself. Until you get there.

I love the idea of going places -- The excitement of potential adventure -- Seeing something new. Experiencing a “never done that before.”

And then the day comes to PACK. And get the house ready to leave it. Clean out the fridge. Take out trash. Reorganize your purse to fit the 3-1-1 rule for the airport x-ray machines.

That’s when the I start to wonder if I really want to go. Is all this prep worth it?

The answer is YES!

Getting out of our comfort zone (or even our comfortable routine zone) is always a good thing for us to do. There are other euphemisms for this: Get out of your box. Get beyond your church’s four walls. Get outside yourself.

When I do something that upsets my normal routine (which I like – because I love my life), it changes my thinking and expands my world. It allows me to see the possibilities. It gives room for new relationships. It reminds me that the need is great for us to touch others. Hear their stories. Be an influencer. Be influenced.

Years ago, my son said something quite profound (especially for a young teenager): “You need to get outside of your comfort zone to make one for someone else.”

Are you willing?

I'm not eating with you if you're gonna be a Meanie!

If you been married for any length of time (beyond 2 weeks), you have probably had a conversation something like this:


We are funny creatures - you and me. In our efforts to be unselfish, easy to be around, we often frustrate those closest to us by our mere "kindness."

It's really okay to make a decision. Voice it. Then see what happens. Sometimes it's just what your spouse needs. Be authentic. Be honest. (But don't be a meanie).

Snowed in and glad there's no place to go

We have been iced then snowed in for 4 days, and I’m honestly a little disappointed to see this hibernation period come to an end. While some struggled after Day 2 or Day 3, I settled into the embrace of the escape a little bit deeper.

Even now in Day 5, as the snow disappears as quickly as it came, I’m sipping a decaf Almond Joy Creamered coffee, my Volcano candle from Anthropologie burning nearby (the best scented candle there is I think) and apart from a quick run to the post office and grocery store today, could easily do it all over again.

Unplanned and forced upon us – it required us to slow down, stop, and rest. And the beauty of it was the fact that all those close to us were required to do the same – family, friends, co-workers, bosses, leaders. Each one of us exiled, at least for a few days, to our own private worlds.

Peaceful. Productive. Simple. Restful. Energizing. Sweet. Home.

For me, the interruption to our daily lives came right on time. Now the challenge remains to hold on to the lessons learned from this week. Sometimes, it’s really ok to just settle down, ignore the busy-ness, spend time with God, play games with family, and relax. Rest. No one knows better than Him how badly we need it. It’s really all God asks of us. Draw near. Be still. Know.

Every Little Boy Wants to be a Super Hero!

If you have not seen the Volkswagen: The Force “Darth Vader” commercial yet, you need to watch it here:



If you are the parent of a boy – no matter how old he may be today, you probably have seen bath-towel super hero capes, made a batman mask (or two or three or four, as in our case), and watched and listened to the exploits of a small boy on a mission. You have witnessed full blown, no holds barred imagination at work.

Is there anything better?

The hunger for adventure. We all have it. Yes. Every one of us. What are you willing to do to step out of your box, as you so comfortably know it?

Take a few minutes. Imagine. You were little once. You can still do it.

How do you prepare for a Super Bowl?

Veterans of that game told Aaron Rodgers: “Don’t let anything distract you from your normal preparation.”

Don’t get distracted from what you know and what you have done up til now. Stay focused. Don’t change the game plan, just keep on task as you understand it.

Aaahh. But now the next question. What if you don’t have a routine working for you? What if your plan is not getting you to a winning place?

One word: Discipline.

This is my word for 2011. I know that there are several places in my life that need a fine tuning. I won’t go into them here (yes, perhaps some pride showing through), but I am sure you and I could talk about some common themes: exercise, healthier eating, more time invested in others, less time wasted, and you can add your own here: __________

Discipline defined: Training to act in accordance with rules; drill military discipline; Activity, exercise or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer; Punishment inflicted by way of correction and training; Behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control; A set or system of rules and regulations; To train by instruction and exercise; drill; To bring to a state or order and obedience by training and control

Did you find yourself lacking any of these? Anywhere? I do every time I read it. It’s not easy but locating those things within myself that need improvement keeps it real for me. I am not Wonder Woman (that’s good news), but there are still many things I am responsible before the Lord to accomplish every day, every week, every month, every year.

C’mon. Join me. 2011 a year of wins! It’s in you.

Speaking of wins . . . any Packers fans out there?

Everybody wants a Magic Elevator!

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city, and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “Paw, what’s ‘at?”

The father (never having see an elevator) responded, “Son, I dunno. I ain’t never seen anything like that in my entire life. I ain’t got no idea what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching in amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into the small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the wall light up sequentially. The continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls open up again and a gorgeous, 20-something blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go git yo Momma.”
This story was sent to me years ago, and I cannot give credit to the author but the concept of a magic elevator is quite intriguing.

And yet . . .

It’s so satisfying to go through life with people who cherish those evidences that time and experience brings to us. Sure, a few wrinkles, a couple gray hairs are going to show up. And so are the photo albums and laughs and defining moments!

Don’t get me wrong, I am old enough (and young enough) to still appreciate an excellent hair dresser (who is an expert in color) , teeth whiteners, and a good night cream!

If Billy Graham would do it differently . . .

You may have seen the interview with Reverend Billy Graham that Christianity Today published recently. I love reading or hearing life lessons from seasoned, experienced (yes, older) people who have been around a few blocks a few times. I believe we can learn from others’ experiences, mistakes and the things that worked well.

We should heed wise words:

Christianity Today to Billy Graham: If you could, would you go back and do anything differently?

BG: Yes, of course. I'd spend more time at home with my family, and I'd study more and preach less. I wouldn't have taken so many speaking engagements, including some of the things I did over the years that I probably didn't really need to do—weddings and funerals and building dedications, things like that. Whenever I counsel someone who feels called to be an evangelist, I always urge them to guard their time and not feel like they have to do everything.

I also would have steered clear of politics. I'm grateful for the opportunities God gave me to minister to people in high places; people in power have spiritual and personal needs like everyone else, and often they have no one to talk to. But looking back I know I sometimes crossed the line, and I wouldn't do that now.

In summary: More time with family. Study more and preach less. Don’t do more than you should do.

via www.christianitytoday.com

It's still January . . .

If you have ever waited for THAT college acceptance letter, or that “we love your manuscript” letter, or “your test results came back negative” letter, you know what anticipation feels like. You understand those words that put hope in your planned future – the document that seals the deal. That seals your deal.

January can still be that for you. It is for me – every year. The beginning of things. Again. The whole month says “Use me to start fresh. Use me to regain perspective. Use me to establish action items for some priorities. Go ahead. I dare you.”

Earlier this month my husband and I sat down together and talked about goals. We talked about what we had for ourselves, and we discussed some that we saw for each other. Some of our individual goals matched. So we looked at our calendars and established time blocks for them. Our schedules need to be altered a little bit to fit it in, but we are going to do that. There are some dreams we both have, and we found blocks of time to set aside to work on them. In that we became accountable to the other.

God’s Word says, “I know the plans I have for you. They are to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah) Nobody can cover you like the Father. Nobody.

And if it helps you to draw in your spouse, a close friend, a pastor to help you -- Do it.

I’ve got my husband’s back on his planned future. He’s got mine. That feels real good.

It’s still January. Find your place and outline the plan. Put some action steps to it.

I dare you.