Count The Cost!

“But don’t begin until you count the cost . . .” (Luke 14: 28)

I want to fast forward into my story about 26 years. Like jumping to the epilogue I suppose. I have been married to this same man since 1982. A successful musician – Grammy Award winning actually. Our marriage has always existed on Planet Ministry – for many years in the Christian music industry, for the last several within an international ministry and a local church too. We have seen some things. Some pretty. Some not so pretty. Some not even believable.

We have been successful. We continue to enjoy our life, our family, and each other. God’s grace, His wisdom and His help have made it possible. We know that. Honestly, I think every engaged Christian couple believes that – with God, they’re gonna be alright.

I have seen successful musicians, ministers, pastors lose their families – while serving God. I have seen women so disillusioned in their marriages and with the call of the ministry on their lives and on their husbands’ lives that they quit . . . everything!

The key . . . way back in the beginning . . .

Count the cost! This takes time. It takes serious effort. Prayer. Counsel from others. Hearing from God. Your future depends on it. Your well being is at the center of it. The lives you are called to touch and minister to are directly related to it. The salvation of your children is at the heart of it.

“For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?” (Luke 14:28)

Or who would commit to a marriage to someone without first contemplating what it will require to make it work? There are careful details to consider. There will be a price to pay. Do you have what it takes to pay it? Are you ready to study the requirements to be sure you are qualified?

You need to make your “Once Upon A Time” into “They Lived Happily Ever After.”
It takes some preplanning!

Once Upon a Time - Chapter 2

The college sophomore had fallen in love with a man who was called to full time ministry. Her knowledge of that was limited because she had never been close to ministry. Sure, she had been in church and had met people who were committed to God – to living their life as closely to the example of Jesus as they understood. Yet, what was this “Calling” to ministry? Just how serious is this?

According to Webster, Calling: Vocation, profession, or trade; a call or summons; a strong impulse or inclination.

A calling is a strong impulse, a “knowing” that the inner self or spirit has a sense of what they are to do. It’s a place of peace within that indicates you are on the right track. You have a direction that gives you great satisfaction when you look at the future.

A calling to ministry is a responsibility to put your heart, your work, your life into your gifts and talents to build the Kingdom of God on this planet. Giving all you have … (time, talents, and resources) to making disciples for Jesus. It’s the number one priority. The Main Thing.

I believed I was called alongside this Christian musician – a man with more creative talent and ability than I had ever seen. He is an award winning song writer, producer and gifted musician. I have no music training, ability or even hardly an ear for the differences between sharp and flat! Could God bring us together? How could I be a help to him at all?

The answer was simple – but not easy: Be willing. Be flexible. And above all, don’t be selfish.

“It’s not about you.” I would hear these words often.

Kiss It and Make It Better!

Every three -year old knows that “Kissing it, makes it better.”

There’s just something about that action that takes her mind off the hurt (even for just a moment) and makes the crying stop. Why? Let’s look at the definition.

Kiss (kis), v.t. 1. To touch or press with the lips slightly pursed in token of affection, greeting, reverence, etc. 2. To touch gently or lightly: (the breeze kissed her face) 3. To put, bring, take or express by kissing 4. To make slight contact with or brush 5. To join lips, as in affection, love, or passion; touch or caress one another with the lips 6. To express a thought, feeling, etc. through contact with the lips: (they kissed goodbye)

“To express a thought, feeling, through contact with the lips.” This says: Take your mind off what has just happened. It’s going to be all right.” It’s better already!

And you know, it’s like that in marriage too. Sometimes a kiss is the answer! “Join the lips, as in affection, love or passion.” In the Bible “Kiss” is phileo. In the New Testament it is used 22 times and is translated “love.” Kisses remind us that for this moment, it’s all about him and me… no matter what else is going on around us, we are connected. Kissing does make it better.

“Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.” (Song of Songs 1:2)

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time there was a little girl growing up in Fraser, Michigan. Every morning she watched her daddy leave for work at 7 am, knowing that he would be home that night at 6 pm for dinner. Day after day after day that's how it went. She dreamed she would grow up and marry someone just like him. He was the best daddy ever … handsome, smart, with laugh wrinkles around his eyes. He took good care of his family.

But something happened to that girl. Something she was not prepared for during her 18 years of watching what a family looked like living in the Auto City of the Midwest USA. She moved away to college . . . She met Jesus.

That changed everything. And then she … okay me … I fell in love with a man. A man called to full time ministry. (To what? What is that? I don't even know what that means. Is it just for a few months? Maybe a couple years and then we settle down and get that house with that white picket fence I dreamed about when I was 7? Have a dog and yard and maybe some cute little babies? Sunday dinner with the folks each week? Ministry? How do you do that? Yikes! What am I doing? I’m barely a Christian, and I am committing to what kind of life? He's called? What's a calling? Oh, Lord, help me!)

And so my journey began just this way 30 years ago.

"Yes," Jesus replied, "And I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred time as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and property -- along with persecution." (Mark 10:29-30)

Before I could marry this man of God, I had to ask myself the question: "Am I willing to give up my childhood dream for Jesus' sake?" It took me a while to answer this.

We had a long engagement!