Love is Good Temper – Part Two.

Or rephrased: Love is NOT Bad Temper. It does not need to show itself as the "red hot" of the love color spectrum.

In his book “The Greatest Thing in the World” Henry Drummond discusses the effects of the temper of the elder brother on the Prodigal Son (and his Father). Drummond asks the question: How many prodigals never come homes because of the unlovely characters inside the house.

What is temper made of: Jealousy, anger, pride, uncharity, cruelty, self-righteousness, touchiness, doggedness, sullenness – these are the ingredients of this dark and loveless soul.

A dictionary definition of temper: habit of mind, especially with respect the irritability or patience, outbursts of anger, or the like. Heat of mind or passion, shown in outbursts of anger, resentment, etc.

“You will see then why Temper is significant. It is not in what it is alone, but in what it reveals. This is why I take the liberty now of speaking of it with such unusual plainness. It is a test for love, a symptom, a revelation of an unloving nature at bottom. It is the intermittent fever which bespeaks unintermittent disease within; the occasional bubble escaping to the surface which betrays some rottenness underneath; a sample of the most hidden product of the soul dropped involuntarily when off one’s guard; in a word, the lightning form of a hundred hideous and un-Christian sins.” (H. Drummond)

The temper of a person will set the temperature of a household. It sets the tone. The experience or the memories of and with this temper will determine whether people want to get close, whether they want to come in … or come home.

In our house, we are not “touchy” --- and we remind each of other of that whenever it’s appropriate. Allowing yourself to be touchy, will open the door to other selfish thoughts.

I am not touchy and I don’t ever want to be a hindrance to anyone coming home . . . Home for any reason. How about you?

Love is Good Temper

Love is Good Temper.

“Love is not easily provoked. We are inclined to look at bad temper as a very harmless weakness. We speak of it as a mere infirmity of nature, a family failure, a matter of temperament, not a thing to take into very serious account in estimating a man’s character. And yet here, right in the heart of this analysis of love, it finds a place; and the Bible again and again returns to condemn it as one of the most destructive elements in human nature.” (Henry Drummond)

These words give new insight into the deadly ripple effects of a bad temper. Henry has described this characteristic so plainly and with such naked exposure, that it reveals in blatant form that “the wages of sin is death.” Bad temper will kill relationships, trust, peace, even the future for those around it. This is no light thing. A bad temper is destructive in every example of itself.

Drummond paints this description further: “You know men who are all but perfect, and women who would be entirely perfect, but for an easily ruffled, quick-tempered, or “touchy” disposition. No form of vice, not worldliness, not greed of gold, not drunkenness itself, does more to un-Christianize society than evil temper. For embittering life, for breaking up communities, for destroying the most sacred relationships, for devastating homes, for withering up men and women, for taking the bloom off childhood; in short, for sheer gratuitous misery-producing power, this influence stands alone.”

Take a moment – analyze yourself. Do you have a good temper – all the time? Even in the provoking moments, how do you control yourself? Practice your answer.

Tomorrow --- more on the effects of our Temper. This one characteristic can hinder or prevent those closest to you from coming into the Kingdom – or even coming home!

Love is . . . Courtesy -- A very nice colour!

Love is Courtesy.

This is Love in society, Love in relation to etiquette. “Love doth not behave itself unseemly.” Politeness has been defined as love in trifles. Courtesy is said to be love in little things. (Drummond)

Love in society – Please and Thank you (the “magic” words). Love is polite and considers the others around me. It opens doors for others. Love never eats the last cookie or piece of cake. Love puts the toilet seat down and love excuses itself after burbs and belches and . . . well, you know.


Love is Unselfishness.

“Love seeketh not her own.” It is not hard to give up our rights. They are often external. The difficult thing is to give up ourselves. (Henry Drummond)

Courtesy and Unselfishness – closely related. These go hand in hand.

More of the Love Spectrum - Generosity and Humility

Love is Generosity.

Love envieth not. (It is not jealous). Envy is a feeling of ill-will to those who are in the same line as ourselves, a spirit of covetousness and detraction. (Henry Drummond)

It’s interesting to me that rather than say love is not jealous, Henry Drummond instead focused on what love is – generosity. We have all heard that giving will cover a multitude of selfishness sins --- and yes, envy and jealousy would be the top two perhaps. Getting to the place where you are giving – to get outside of your own feelings, will turn a situation around. It takes the focus off of me, and puts it on you. That’s love.


Love is Humility.

And then, after having learned all that, you have to learn this further thing, Humility – to put a seal upon your lips and forget what you have done. After you have been kind, after Love has stolen forth into the world and done its beautiful work, go back into the shade again and say nothing about it. Love hides even from itself. Love waives even self satisfaction.

Wow – Love waives even self satisfaction. That’s a sentence to meditate.

Love is patience

Love is patience.

“Love is patience. This is the normal attitude of love. Love passive, Love waiting to begin; not in a hurry; calm; ready to do its work when the summons comes but in the meantime wearing the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Love understands, and therefore waits.” (Henry Drummond)

Henry Drummond says this perfectly. Love waits. Love doesn’t push. Love doesn’t expect its own way. It prefers others. It gives the right of way. It allows someone with only a few items to get in line ahead of you. Love smiles in those lines. Love gives room for growth – and the time to do it.


Another colour of the love spectrum:

Love is Kindness.

Love active. Have you noticed how much of Christ’s life was spent in doing kind things – in merely doing kind things? You will find that Jesus spent a great proportion of His time simply in making people happy, in doing good turns to others. There is only one thing greater than happiness in the world and that is holiness; and it is not in our keeping; but what God has put in our power is the happiness of those about us, and that is largely to be secured by our being kind to them. (Henry Drummond)

“The greatest thing,” says one man, “a man can for His Heavenly Father is to be kind to some of His other children.”

The Greatest Thing in the World. Love.

The Greatest Thing in the World. Love.

Henry Drummond lived over 100 years ago (1851-1897) and has written one (of many) of the most influential books I have read. This man knew how to communicate who God is. Specifically – he understood Love.

“It is a compound thing. It’s like light. As you have seen a man of science take a beam of light and pass it through a crystal prism, as you have seen it come out on the other side of the prism broken up into its component colours – red, and blue, and yellow, and violet, and orange, and all the colours of the rainbow – so Paul (in 1 Cor 13) passes this thing, Love, through the magnificent prism of his inspired intellect, and it comes out on the other side broken up into its elements. And in these few words we have what one might call the Spectrum of Love, the analysis of Love. Will you observe what its elements are? Will you notice that they have common names; that they are virtues which we hear about every day; that they are things which can be practiced by every man in every place in life.”

Henry says the Spectrum of Love has nine ingredients:

Patience – “Love suffereth long.”
Kindness – “And is kind.”
Generosity – “Love envieth not”
Humility – “Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Courtesy – “Doth not behave itself unseemly.”
Unselfishness – “Seeketh not her own.”
Good Temper – “Is not easily provoked.”
Guilelessness – “Thinketh no evil.”
Sincerity – “Rejoiceth not in inquity, but rejoiceth in truth.”

“These make up the supreme gift, the stature of the perfect man.”

Stay with me over the next several days --- We’ll look at these one ingredient at a time.

I’m going to make it my best recipe this week.

God's Take on Lawns

Do we think this is what God intended?

Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis on the subject of lawns:

God: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

St. Francis: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers “weeds” and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: Grass? But it’s so boring! It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it – sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water is so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away.

God: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buys something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up.

God: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real stupid move about . . .

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story.

(Taken from a Michael's Garden Center Newsletter several years ago)

The Parenting Thrill Ride

While in Nashville a couple of weeks ago at the NRB Convention, I had the privilege of meeting Mark Gregston, author, blogger, and he also has a radio show that gives practical advice for parents, teachers, youth pastors of teens.

This is a repost in its entirety from a recent blog from Mark.

Parenting is rarely like a pleasant but slightly boring turn on a carousel. It’s usually more like a heart-stopping and unpredictable roller-coaster ride. In both experiences, the destination is never in question. But the roller coaster has more ups, downs and moments of terror.

As soon as you think you have it all together as a parent and feel as if you’ve reached a high point, you’re suddenly slammed into yet another dip, another turn, another uphill climb. One second you’re right side up, and the next second you’re hanging on for dear life and maybe even screaming at the top of your lungs.

But oh, how much more exciting is the roller-coaster ride! And how much more challenging! How much more thrilling, even with (or perhaps because of) the butterflies in your stomach, the fear, and the uncertainty of what’s around the next turn! On roller coasters, I’ve screamed out God’s name like a little girl. I’ve done the same in the twists and turns of parenting.

Prayer brings hope to my hopelessness and calms my anxiety when I need a reminder that I am not alone. Prayer reassures me that my confusion does not deter His plan.

Calling out His name affirms His presence, His power, and His purpose in my life. Regardless of how I pray— screaming from the roller coaster or in the quietness of my soul—I am reminded that just as there was a beginning, so there will be an end. Prayer brings hope to my hopelessness and calms my anxiety when I need a reminder that I am not alone.

Prayer reassures me that my confusion does not deter His plan. It calls me to look for the bigger picture, to embrace a larger view of whatever is happening, and to search deeper for meaning in the struggles and for purpose in the pleasures. Prayer reminds me that this parenting roller coaster is a ride like none other and that it draws on every attribute and ounce of strength I have to survive the ups and downs of the adolescent years and reach the end with relationships intact and training complete.

Prayer reminds me that the thrill of the parenting roller coaster is worth the discomfort; so I’m willing to crawl back into that seat and get locked in for another ride. Prayer changes things—including me. It has a wondrous way of changing situations. It forces me to remain focused on what’s important, and it helps me consider my teen from God’s perspective. Prayer aligns my heart with His and connects my heart with His so that my plans for my teen fall in line with His.
Today’s world sometimes seems to work against us. It’s a tough time to be raising teens. In this confusing culture, all the parents I know need as much help as they can get.

Help for both the parent and teenager can be found through the daily application of prayer. Through prayer, you’ll real¬ize that parenting teens isn’t so bad, even if it is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, climbs and free falls, fear and relief. After all, parenting wouldn’t be such a thrill ride any other way, would it?
Mark Gregston

#34 – 180 to 50

#34 - Plan a trip to New York with former college roommate – celebrating turning 50 together. DONE!

If you have followed my journey to 50, I have been giving glimpses of my list of 50 things I created during the 180 days before my 50th birthday. I didn’t accomplish all of them in time, but many have earned the spot on the next list of dreams and goals I have set for myself. The journey continues.

But this one – a trip to New York City with two beautiful ladies from my college days is one of my favorite items on my list. We have begun planning this trip – airline tickets purchased, Broadway musical tickets ready, and hotel reservations in place. We are going in August, and this reunion has us all so excited.

You see, I haven’t seen these women in almost . . . oh my goodness . . . has it been 20 years? Not in person anyway. We keep in touch via Facebook --- and pictures and messages. And yet, we grew up together as college girls --- finding our way through new friendships, meeting the men we would marry, and creating a life time of memories (Euchre, anyone?)

One of these precious friends showed me Jesus. I watched her life, the relationships with her family, and the love she had for God . For the first time, I knew that Jesus was real – every day. I am grateful that Jesus has continued to be real – every day.

And so . . . our adventure begins. I am looking forward to catching up on life with these two. We have a lot to talk about! And perhaps the next trip to plan too!

No place like home

Sunday afternoons. Sigh.

Today’s Sunday in Texas is rainy, cool, damp. Perfect for staying inside after church. We have a fire going – probably the last one of the season. A football game kind of day – but it’s March. So, we make a delicious hot beverage (French press decaf coffee today), and we write or we read or we do one of those plus laundry.

I like days like this before Spring --- the yard and flower beds cannot call my attention to them yet, making me feel guilty for not doing work outside. Can’t go for a walk – not really. Not today.

I am thankful for a warm, friendly, peaceful place called Home. The place to regroup, gear up for the week, set some Monday goals. And Tuesday goals. Prepare for a trip to Tulsa Thursday for a Senior Recital for an important soon-to-be graduate. Another trip Saturday to Michigan to see parents we haven’t seen in a while. A big 21st birthday to celebrate that day too. Soon there will be packing to do, and details to finalize . . .

But for right now. Peace. Ease. Familiarity. Home.

A very very good place.