No Way to Win? Really, Ladies?

Ladies and Gentlemen … be warned -- If this is not funny to you, you may need to talk out a some things. Oh. And stop being so touchy!



(The above video was created by my friend Pastor John Voelz from Jackson, Michigan - www.johnvoelz.com)

We’ve all had those conversations that only get worse the longer they go. You know what it’s like when you just keep talking and digging a hole that seems to get deeper and deeper. You want to stop and explain, and that only makes it worse. And yet, not explaining seems irresponsible?

Sometimes, it's best to just stop talking. Call a truce. Call it being human. Call it done. Someone, just Call It!

And as crazy as this video seems -- ladies, we have all been there in some form or fashion. So, it's really up to us most of the time to stop the madness! It's okay. We're human - and nobody knows it better than the men closest to us!

And I for one, am glad they do!

(Thanks John for a great video - hope you get many views!)

When talking to teenagers, you can’t shut up too much!

Many years ago, I received the best advice about raising a son from a mother whom I respect very much. Here’s what she told me:

“When your son starts to talk and communicate with words, listen to him and show interest in everything he talks about. This won’t always be easy because when boys (and really all children) are young, they want to talk about many things you won’t care about. But if you stay in the habit of listening to the things that are important to him, his interests will change as he gets older. By then, you will have developed a good habit with him and he’ll be comfortable to talk to you about anything.”

Great advice! Your son is never too old (or too young) for you to show an interest in the things important to him.

Granted, this was not always easy. My son (at 4 or 5 years old) could tell me play by play action of the most recent Sponge Bob Square Pants episodes. But I listened.

Today, he doesn’t talk about cartoons or TV shows so much . . . but at 19 has much bigger and more important things to discuss, and we have developed a good relationship. Today we really talk and listen to each other.

Here is some additional wisdom from Mark Gregston. I encourage you to visit his website at www.parentingtodaysteens.org.

Teenage boys will clam up if a parent expects them to look them in the eye when they talk. Instead, sit side by side, like in the car. And I find that all teens tend to talk more while they are involved in an activity, so you’ll be most successful if you can find something fun to do together.

Talking less may be difficult for parents, but when it comes to getting teenagers to open up to you, you can’t shut up too much. Don’t expect a long discussion; it may just be the “instant message” version, so listen carefully and repeat back what you think they said. Finally, be sure to ask questions to keep the conversation going.

Remember, ask questions. Then listen. You can’t shut up too much.

Looking toward the Big Picture

Do you like to do jigsaw puzzles?

My daughter began doing little jigsaw puzzles when she was 2 years old. She loved them. She did them fast. Fortunately, they were inexpensive so we had quite a few. But I needed to make them a little more challenging for her when she was 3 or 4 yearsold, so I would take 5 or 4 of her puzzles and mix them together. She would then separate the pictures and do them that way.

By the time she was in elementary school, 500 piece puzzles were no problem. They just took a little longer.

These days, in only 2 hours, she does 1000 piece puzzles like this:



Seriously, she completed this puzzle in less than 3 hours. She’s amazing. Her puzzle technique is unusual and fun to watch too.

She is about to graduate from college in a few months with her degree in elementary eduation. As she completes that piece of her journey, we are excited to watch her step into this final semester where she will be student teaching some first graders in a school about 20 minutes from the house. Those little ones are in for a treat as “Miss Allen” comes into their lives. She’s a teacher – a passionate, driven teacher. Her heart’s desire can be summed up in the words of a 4th grader on the last day of her time in his classroom this past fall: “Miss Allen, You were a great teacher. You helped me understand everything.”

As parents, we are so proud of her. She is a beautiful, talented, intelligent, brilliant young lady. Her future is full of impartation and investment into others. She can’t wait to get at this calling on her life full time.

While she enters this next chapter in her story, it has also challenged me to examine whether I am taking time with others to help them ‘understand everything.’ Where am I imparting, teaching, encouraging and investing in others?

Where are you?

You and I have what it takes to fill in some of the pieces for those around us. A kind word, wisdom imparted, or a prayer prayed will help someone see a bigger picture.

Should I Stay? Or Should I Go?

If you are like me, the anticipation of a thing can seem better than the thing itself. Until you get there.

I love the idea of going places -- The excitement of potential adventure -- Seeing something new. Experiencing a “never done that before.”

And then the day comes to PACK. And get the house ready to leave it. Clean out the fridge. Take out trash. Reorganize your purse to fit the 3-1-1 rule for the airport x-ray machines.

That’s when the I start to wonder if I really want to go. Is all this prep worth it?

The answer is YES!

Getting out of our comfort zone (or even our comfortable routine zone) is always a good thing for us to do. There are other euphemisms for this: Get out of your box. Get beyond your church’s four walls. Get outside yourself.

When I do something that upsets my normal routine (which I like – because I love my life), it changes my thinking and expands my world. It allows me to see the possibilities. It gives room for new relationships. It reminds me that the need is great for us to touch others. Hear their stories. Be an influencer. Be influenced.

Years ago, my son said something quite profound (especially for a young teenager): “You need to get outside of your comfort zone to make one for someone else.”

Are you willing?

I'm not eating with you if you're gonna be a Meanie!

If you been married for any length of time (beyond 2 weeks), you have probably had a conversation something like this:


We are funny creatures - you and me. In our efforts to be unselfish, easy to be around, we often frustrate those closest to us by our mere "kindness."

It's really okay to make a decision. Voice it. Then see what happens. Sometimes it's just what your spouse needs. Be authentic. Be honest. (But don't be a meanie).

Snowed in and glad there's no place to go

We have been iced then snowed in for 4 days, and I’m honestly a little disappointed to see this hibernation period come to an end. While some struggled after Day 2 or Day 3, I settled into the embrace of the escape a little bit deeper.

Even now in Day 5, as the snow disappears as quickly as it came, I’m sipping a decaf Almond Joy Creamered coffee, my Volcano candle from Anthropologie burning nearby (the best scented candle there is I think) and apart from a quick run to the post office and grocery store today, could easily do it all over again.

Unplanned and forced upon us – it required us to slow down, stop, and rest. And the beauty of it was the fact that all those close to us were required to do the same – family, friends, co-workers, bosses, leaders. Each one of us exiled, at least for a few days, to our own private worlds.

Peaceful. Productive. Simple. Restful. Energizing. Sweet. Home.

For me, the interruption to our daily lives came right on time. Now the challenge remains to hold on to the lessons learned from this week. Sometimes, it’s really ok to just settle down, ignore the busy-ness, spend time with God, play games with family, and relax. Rest. No one knows better than Him how badly we need it. It’s really all God asks of us. Draw near. Be still. Know.

Every Little Boy Wants to be a Super Hero!

If you have not seen the Volkswagen: The Force “Darth Vader” commercial yet, you need to watch it here:



If you are the parent of a boy – no matter how old he may be today, you probably have seen bath-towel super hero capes, made a batman mask (or two or three or four, as in our case), and watched and listened to the exploits of a small boy on a mission. You have witnessed full blown, no holds barred imagination at work.

Is there anything better?

The hunger for adventure. We all have it. Yes. Every one of us. What are you willing to do to step out of your box, as you so comfortably know it?

Take a few minutes. Imagine. You were little once. You can still do it.