Somedays it's just hard to say . . .

Some days it’s just hard to say.

It’s hard to say what the real issue is. Or what the problem seems to be. Or what’s bugging you. Could be a series of things. Unmet expectations. Disappointment in how it all turned out. Hard to say.

Somedays it’s not enough sleep. Or hormones. Or nothing at all. Just seems like crabby has come on. Some days it’s hard to say.

And so … on those “hard to say” days. Just don’t. Don’t say it. Don’t try to explain it. Don’t examine it til you get an answer. Don’t talk it out. It needs to stay Hard to Say. Too hard in fact. And so, stay quiet.

1 Corinthians 13 – we all know the Love chapter. “Love is not touchy.” For me, that sums up most of all the other adjectives for love. I am not touchy. I am not easily moved by my emotions so that they negatively affect others.

That’s my desire … my goal. Somedays it’s easier than others.

A wise man once said, “You never regret that which you do not say.”

How can I trust you hear from God . . . . .

“How can I trust that you hear from God, if you are so moved by your emotions and what other people think?”

It usually takes a little bit of time to pass in a relationship to come to this conversation. These words must be asked by every person when it comes to the life decision: Is he the one? Is she the one?

Every boy and girl needs to know, without a doubt …. Of any kind…. That the person they are committed to hears from God … more than they hear from anyone else. Anyone else!

Let me set the stage:

In May 1983, Scott and I had been married almost 6 months. We were living in South Carolina and we were miserable! We had moved there because of a job offered to Scott to work at a Christian TV station. We packed up all of our belongings in January (it all fit in a small U-Haul trailer) and headed South. Both of us being from Michigan were in for a major shock to the ways of the South Carolinians. It wasn’t such a good fit.

The reason for our misery? Thankfully, it was not because we got married! But it was because we needed to get back on track to the destiny Scott was called to when he was teenager. He’s a talented musician, song writer, called by God. We weren’t doing that. We were miserable.

One phone call. That’s all it took for him to know what was needed. Scott knew he had heard from the Lord and it meant a move to Atlanta, Georgia and going back on the road to minister with Mylon LeFevre’s band.

Enter Stage Right: The newlywed wife (6 months, remember?) I had never heard the name Mylon LeFevre and knew nothing about him, his band, his ministry. Nothing! But my husband knew that it was time to go back on the road --- yes, travel. Yes, leave wife at home.

Newlywed wife: “Was it something I said?” “You need to get away from me? But . . . But . . . But . . .”

Side note: Don’t let the “buts” get in the way of your calling!

I had married a man who heard from God. I knew that. I did not want to be the one who only heard from God when my emotions weren’t in the way! And I wanted to be married to a man who heard from God when my emotions were in the way!

And he does. These days, I believe that I do too. And now we train our children how to hear too.

Some Dogs Do Go To Heaven

“Animals who receive and give love will be with us in heaven.”

This is a statement I choose to believe today. It’s actually a quote from a great Christian lady that I trust very much. I think she really knows.

When we decided to obey the Lord to move to Texas 14 years ago, we told our kids – who were then 6 and 4 that we could get a puppy because our new house would have a fenced back yard. That’s all they needed to hear to put their faith to work for that new pet. Christmas of 1998 we gave the kids a “How to Care for Your Golden Retriever Puppy” book. Good pastor friends of ours in Alabama told us they wanted to give us one of their puppies as a gift … an AKC registered Golden Retriever puppy.

In January of 1999, “Allie” came home -- Named after her home state of Alabama. She was 8 weeks old and a cute, fuzzy, little ball of energy! Our kids’ faith had produced this new family member and oh my gosh …. She was a handful! Smart …. Too smart many days. Fast … She would find ink pens and run around the house … the more we chased her, the better she ran and the better the game! I had visions of her biting down on them... ink everywhere. (Fortunately, that never happened) She developed quite a personality.

This dog took over … as a Golden, she always had to lead, be in the way, and help you get to where you should go! She wore bandanas around her neck and loved them! She loved to carry around empty water bottles, chew q-tips from the trash (yeah, yuck!) and could squeak a toy better than any dog I have ever heard. She stayed near, at our feet, at our side and just needed a few good touches. Faithful. Happy. Funny. Sweet. Family – every day. She had a way of “Counting” us to be sure we were all home. She knew when someone was missing… watched the doors for them to come in. I do think she knew how to love.

This week, Allie transitioned from this life. Over a two week period, an aggressive cancer changed our home and our daily lives. We miss her. She made us smile every day. She paid attention to us every day. She looked us straight in the eyes when we talked to her and would cock her head back and forth as if to say “I understand everything you are telling me.” (Did I mention she made us smile every day?)

I am wise enough to know that in the big picture of our lives, with all the events that happen, this may seem like a small thing. It may seem even insignificant to some. To me, enjoying every gift from God, every moment that life and joy presents itself, every person, animal, flower, kind word, gesture, wagging tail …. Take time to enjoy them. Cherish them. Take notice. Be grateful.

Allie grew up with our kids … transitioned them from elementary school children to adults.. Ten years … It has been a wonderful, wonderful season! I told my husband … some changes require tears to walk through them. This is one of those.

Allie had a favorite corner of the yard where she would trample my flower beds chasing the cats, squirrels, birds, possum walking on her fence. In her honor, I have planted some day lilies there. One is almost her color.

God gave us all things … richly to enjoy.

Just 10 questions . . .

Ten Questions for Couples

Came across this quiz in a file. It’s something to think about…. And for some of us, something to do something about… take a minute:

This quiz is from a January 2005 Family Circle Magazine. Use these statements as a gauge. See what you need to work on. (There’s always something to work on, I think)

Indicate whether each statement is usually true or false for you and your spouse, then count how many are true.

· When my husband phones, I make time to talk to him.
· When something important happens in my life, my spouse is the first person I want to tell.
· We are physically affectionate with each other on a daily basis.
· When I walk into the house, I greet my spouse before doing anything else.
· We spend more time interacting than we do watching TV.
· If my husband wants my attention, I stop what I am doing and give it to him.
· We celebrate birthdays and anniversaries in special ways.
· We go out alone together once a week.
· We vacation alone together once a year.
· We have photographs of each other in our wallets and at work.

If 4 statements or fewer are usually true for you and your spouse, you both need to pay more attention to your marriage. If 5 to 7 are true, you’re about average, but don’t settle for an average marriage – it’s the most important thing in your life!

This is a quick blog …. I have a few things on the list I need to go do!