Can You Spot an Artist?

They are everywhere. You probably have them growing up in your home right now.

I made and packed my kids’ school lunches almost every day – kindergarten through senior year in high school. (Yes, I know they were old enough to make and pack their own lunches when they turned 10 probably, but it was one more way I could “touch” them with an act of service – my love language – every day).

Anyway, I would wrap their sandwiches, or cold pizza in tinfoil on many days.

The picture of the tinfoil rose shown above was one of dozens of tinfoil creations that came home in my son’s lunchbox – when he was in elementary school. I still have this rose, sitting on my desk in my office. I suppose it's 10 or 11 years old now.

We were raising a creative – an artist. It was obvious – every day. He was a creator in every sense of the word. As a child, he made wallets out of playing cards; duck tape purses and shoes; water color paintings; oil paintings; short films with his friends, and so on and so on.

He has the soul of an artist.

My prayer is that he never yields to the resistance to stop creating.

“Art is what we call...

the thing an artist does.

It's not the medium or the oil or the price or whether it hangs on a wall or you eat it. What matters, what makes it art, is that the person who made it overcame the resistance, ignored the voice of doubt and made something worth making. Something risky. Something human.

Art is not in the eye of the beholder. It's in the soul of the artist.”

(From Seth Godin’s blog, 2/18/11, http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/)

When talking to teenagers, you can’t shut up too much!

Many years ago, I received the best advice about raising a son from a mother whom I respect very much. Here’s what she told me:

“When your son starts to talk and communicate with words, listen to him and show interest in everything he talks about. This won’t always be easy because when boys (and really all children) are young, they want to talk about many things you won’t care about. But if you stay in the habit of listening to the things that are important to him, his interests will change as he gets older. By then, you will have developed a good habit with him and he’ll be comfortable to talk to you about anything.”

Great advice! Your son is never too old (or too young) for you to show an interest in the things important to him.

Granted, this was not always easy. My son (at 4 or 5 years old) could tell me play by play action of the most recent Sponge Bob Square Pants episodes. But I listened.

Today, he doesn’t talk about cartoons or TV shows so much . . . but at 19 has much bigger and more important things to discuss, and we have developed a good relationship. Today we really talk and listen to each other.

Here is some additional wisdom from Mark Gregston. I encourage you to visit his website at www.parentingtodaysteens.org.

Teenage boys will clam up if a parent expects them to look them in the eye when they talk. Instead, sit side by side, like in the car. And I find that all teens tend to talk more while they are involved in an activity, so you’ll be most successful if you can find something fun to do together.

Talking less may be difficult for parents, but when it comes to getting teenagers to open up to you, you can’t shut up too much. Don’t expect a long discussion; it may just be the “instant message” version, so listen carefully and repeat back what you think they said. Finally, be sure to ask questions to keep the conversation going.

Remember, ask questions. Then listen. You can’t shut up too much.

Looking toward the Big Picture

Do you like to do jigsaw puzzles?

My daughter began doing little jigsaw puzzles when she was 2 years old. She loved them. She did them fast. Fortunately, they were inexpensive so we had quite a few. But I needed to make them a little more challenging for her when she was 3 or 4 yearsold, so I would take 5 or 4 of her puzzles and mix them together. She would then separate the pictures and do them that way.

By the time she was in elementary school, 500 piece puzzles were no problem. They just took a little longer.

These days, in only 2 hours, she does 1000 piece puzzles like this:



Seriously, she completed this puzzle in less than 3 hours. She’s amazing. Her puzzle technique is unusual and fun to watch too.

She is about to graduate from college in a few months with her degree in elementary eduation. As she completes that piece of her journey, we are excited to watch her step into this final semester where she will be student teaching some first graders in a school about 20 minutes from the house. Those little ones are in for a treat as “Miss Allen” comes into their lives. She’s a teacher – a passionate, driven teacher. Her heart’s desire can be summed up in the words of a 4th grader on the last day of her time in his classroom this past fall: “Miss Allen, You were a great teacher. You helped me understand everything.”

As parents, we are so proud of her. She is a beautiful, talented, intelligent, brilliant young lady. Her future is full of impartation and investment into others. She can’t wait to get at this calling on her life full time.

While she enters this next chapter in her story, it has also challenged me to examine whether I am taking time with others to help them ‘understand everything.’ Where am I imparting, teaching, encouraging and investing in others?

Where are you?

You and I have what it takes to fill in some of the pieces for those around us. A kind word, wisdom imparted, or a prayer prayed will help someone see a bigger picture.

Wanna See My Baby?

It gives me great pleasure to finish something and see the immediate results of the finishing. You know when you mow the yard and the results are immediate with every step? I really like that. Vacuuming is like that too. Erasing a chalk board. Pressure washing the back porch. Being pregnant and then having the baby. Immediate results. Nice.

There’s something very satisfying to setting out a path or set goals and accomplishing them. As you may have guessed, I am a list maker. I like to check things off the list, indicating a task completed. I like the short term finishes and the long term plans too.

Short term or long term, it takes discipline, time invested, and commitment.

Recently I heard a brand new adult (just turned 18) say that his childhood was a good one, complete, satisfying. (Some words my own, but you get the picture). He was ready to cross over into adulthood and take on the changes and new responsibilities that come with it. There’s pleasure in the finishing, some trepidation about the future, but no regrets.

Living without regret requires daily decisions … Actually, moment-by-moment decisions. It requires making choices and thinking about how they affect your future in 10 minutes, in 10 days, in 10 months and 10 years. On purpose we need to move through our days and weeks as if every decision we make affects our future in a significant way. Because they do! Your habits today will shape who you are tomorrow and next year and 10 years from now. These decisions affect what your family becomes… tomorrow and when your children graduate from high school. These daily decisions affect your outcome at every level of your life.

Babies are cute, sweet, and innocent. A blank page really. When they turn 18, become adults, with no regret as parents, we need to be able to again say, “Wanna see my baby now?” And knowing that with God’s help, His wisdom, you made the choices that enable you to not look back, but look ahead. Satisfied.