Wanna See My Baby?

It gives me great pleasure to finish something and see the immediate results of the finishing. You know when you mow the yard and the results are immediate with every step? I really like that. Vacuuming is like that too. Erasing a chalk board. Pressure washing the back porch. Being pregnant and then having the baby. Immediate results. Nice.

There’s something very satisfying to setting out a path or set goals and accomplishing them. As you may have guessed, I am a list maker. I like to check things off the list, indicating a task completed. I like the short term finishes and the long term plans too.

Short term or long term, it takes discipline, time invested, and commitment.

Recently I heard a brand new adult (just turned 18) say that his childhood was a good one, complete, satisfying. (Some words my own, but you get the picture). He was ready to cross over into adulthood and take on the changes and new responsibilities that come with it. There’s pleasure in the finishing, some trepidation about the future, but no regrets.

Living without regret requires daily decisions … Actually, moment-by-moment decisions. It requires making choices and thinking about how they affect your future in 10 minutes, in 10 days, in 10 months and 10 years. On purpose we need to move through our days and weeks as if every decision we make affects our future in a significant way. Because they do! Your habits today will shape who you are tomorrow and next year and 10 years from now. These decisions affect what your family becomes… tomorrow and when your children graduate from high school. These daily decisions affect your outcome at every level of your life.

Babies are cute, sweet, and innocent. A blank page really. When they turn 18, become adults, with no regret as parents, we need to be able to again say, “Wanna see my baby now?” And knowing that with God’s help, His wisdom, you made the choices that enable you to not look back, but look ahead. Satisfied.

We need Love AND Respect - Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Love and Respect – Seemed simple, straight forward enough. Then I read this book and it hurt my feelings!

As a wife, I think I do the “love” part pretty good --- but it’s the “respect” part that husbands need. And so my quest began.

In this marriage-transforming book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ Love and Respect is designed to help wives see that their big, powerful husbands are really in need of something that wives can give – respect. When he receives respect, he will give her the kind of love she has always hoped to receive.

Thus – the Wake up call!

Paul gives gender specific instructions in Ephesians 5 to married couples. Yes – Gender Specific. And I am very, very sure this was on purpose – strong purpose. You see – God knows us.Dr. Eggerichs says that Paul “reveals commands from the very heart of God as he tells the husband he must love (agape) his wife unconditionally and the wife must respect her husband, whether or not her husband comes across as loving.”Throughout the book, the real life situations and practical Biblical wisdom and concepts will help any spouse find themselves (and their partner). It almost seemed too easy to see --- almost embarrassing. But the good news, is Dr. Eggerichs gives direction, help, easy to remember steps and even discussion questions for husbands and wives to move through the needed healing, repair, or strengthening in their relationships. There is also a workbook that can be purchased for deeper levels of commitment to better communication.

What is respect? “Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability. The condition of being esteemed or honored. Favor or partiality. To show regard or consideration for.” In my view, every marriage (great or struggling) can be refreshed.

After reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, I highly recommend this book for all married people and soon to be so. As he says, “Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.” Me? I need all the help I can get!

Tips on Love - From the Mouths of Babes

The following advice comes from kids 5-10 years old.

Q: What is falling in love like?
“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

Q: What do most people do on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

Q: What is the proper age to get married?
“Eighty-four, because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)

Q: Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid, I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

Q: On the role of good looks in love.
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)

Q: The personal qualities necessary to be a good lover.
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)

Q: Surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you.
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)
“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Dave, 8)

Q: What most people are thinking when they say “I love you.”
“The person is thinking: ?Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

Q: How to make love endure.
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
“Don’t forget your wife’s name … That will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)

I like the last one - be a good kisser -- We wives might even forget about the trash!

Moms, Do not allow college to be heart wrenching!

As surprising as it is, I am at the place in my family life that our kids are going to college and planning to go to college! (Yes, that makes two kids). Our daughter is a junior at ORU and our son is a high school senior.

I may have said before, we have enjoyed every day of being parents – yes, every day… maybe just a few minutes of some days . . . but our kids have created a WONDERFUL family experience. Parenting is the most rewarding thing we continue to do… We have the pictures to prove it.

And yet … the daily part of parenting must come to an end. It must … or you will become one of those moms who has children who never leave home, never fully understand the necessity of independence, never assume the role of responsibility, and then have no concept of what it means to “leave mother and father and cleave to a spouse.”

Moms! Don’t you want your kids to have those accomplishments? The satisfaction of being “grown up?” Of course you do.

It starts today.

No matter what age your children are – whether they are going into Kindergarten for the first time, junior high, senior year or . . . or yes, even possibly moving away to college.

Your children need to see in real life--- in your real life --- that God is big enough to handle YOUR emotions, to handle changes, to give you peace AND JOY in your journey of parenting them through their journeys.

Do not force your kids to feel sorry for you because this next big thing is so “heart wrenching.” Do not give your children any reason to worry or be concerned about you because of where they are going. God is so Able, so Completing, so Enough.

Your faith in your own future gives your kids the courage to face their futures. Be that example. Show your kids that the Holy Spirit, alive in you, is well able to walk you through whatever comes next.

Now on the practical side, it’s time to save all the small care package boxes you can find. Send a box at least once a month fully of silly goodies. Send a card or a letter once a week. It’s a funny thing – but this generation of Tweeps and Facebookers become avid fans of Snail Mail in college. (This happens on Day One!)

And the God of peace --- which transcends our understanding, will guard your heart and your mind!

Ask me how I know!