We need Love AND Respect - Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Love and Respect – Seemed simple, straight forward enough. Then I read this book and it hurt my feelings!

As a wife, I think I do the “love” part pretty good --- but it’s the “respect” part that husbands need. And so my quest began.

In this marriage-transforming book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ Love and Respect is designed to help wives see that their big, powerful husbands are really in need of something that wives can give – respect. When he receives respect, he will give her the kind of love she has always hoped to receive.

Thus – the Wake up call!

Paul gives gender specific instructions in Ephesians 5 to married couples. Yes – Gender Specific. And I am very, very sure this was on purpose – strong purpose. You see – God knows us.Dr. Eggerichs says that Paul “reveals commands from the very heart of God as he tells the husband he must love (agape) his wife unconditionally and the wife must respect her husband, whether or not her husband comes across as loving.”Throughout the book, the real life situations and practical Biblical wisdom and concepts will help any spouse find themselves (and their partner). It almost seemed too easy to see --- almost embarrassing. But the good news, is Dr. Eggerichs gives direction, help, easy to remember steps and even discussion questions for husbands and wives to move through the needed healing, repair, or strengthening in their relationships. There is also a workbook that can be purchased for deeper levels of commitment to better communication.

What is respect? “Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability. The condition of being esteemed or honored. Favor or partiality. To show regard or consideration for.” In my view, every marriage (great or struggling) can be refreshed.

After reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, I highly recommend this book for all married people and soon to be so. As he says, “Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.” Me? I need all the help I can get!

Tips on Love - From the Mouths of Babes

The following advice comes from kids 5-10 years old.

Q: What is falling in love like?
“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

Q: What do most people do on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

Q: What is the proper age to get married?
“Eighty-four, because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)

Q: Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid, I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

Q: On the role of good looks in love.
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)

Q: The personal qualities necessary to be a good lover.
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)

Q: Surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you.
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)
“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Dave, 8)

Q: What most people are thinking when they say “I love you.”
“The person is thinking: ?Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

Q: How to make love endure.
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
“Don’t forget your wife’s name … That will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)

I like the last one - be a good kisser -- We wives might even forget about the trash!